I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
