Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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