I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
