What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
