Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
