i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just had sex on a roof
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
