He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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