I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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