I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
