At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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