I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I intend to get homeless drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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