Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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