i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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