just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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