Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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