You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
