is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
