So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
These tits shall not be calmed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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