oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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