I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
