ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This toilet bowl is my home.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
