god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
