I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
