i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
