you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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