I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
