But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
