we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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