I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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