so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
