gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
