i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
