if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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