You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
