I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
