I hate all girls vehemently.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
