i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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