Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
