just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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