as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
