put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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