I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
