I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
