I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
