If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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