How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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