Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
