I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
