he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
