worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
