when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
