I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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