He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize