I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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