I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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