I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
